I was comfortably sleeping in my dark sack when the first alien made contact. It literally tore open the atmospheric layer and tried to grab me. But I was in no mood to get kidnapped. I pushed back into the dark sack.
Not to mention that I hate it when somebody wakes me up. It ruins the rest of the day and robs me of my productivity. Around Mid day I start feeling the slump. The motivation to kick or drink my own pee or stare at that funny long serpentine tube around my neck just vanishes around afternoon. Not the mention the dark circles that I get. Oh I so hate it when someone wakes me up.
That's when the other alien tried to push the ground beneath my feet towards the cut in the atmosphere. It felt as if the heavens were collapsing down to the earth or the earth was rising to the stars. And this scared me. I'd learnt to deal with pokes and pushes and the universe getting space crunched from time to time. But this was different.
My suspicion was finally proved right. Aliens exist! And they've finally made contact! Let's play the Carpenters' Interplanetary craft song! But these aliens seemed aggressive and I was worried.
Then suddenly there was a lot of light and some weird red gooey liquid flowing all around. And lots of confusing noises. I thought for a fleeting moment of triumph that the Alien mechanism was malfunctioning and they were beating a retreat. I would go back happily to sleep in my dark sack again. But that's when it happened and I was proved utterly wrong!
You remember how in 'This is the End' everyone gets sucked up into the sky? 'Beam me up Scottie' types? An alien probe came in and started sucking my head towards the skies and before I knew the aliens had pulled me into outer space.
It was so bright! And disorienting! and Uncomfortable!
This weird green alien came and removed that funny tube from around my neck. I didn't like it. That tube was mine. And just as I was coming to terms with the separation from my home and the funny tube, it came and cut the tube! That was it. 'Aata Maajhi Satakli', I said. But before I could throw my fit, another alien grabbed me by the legs and hung me up side down and started hitting me from behind. I yelped in pain and some funny noises came out of my facial cavity and some weird invisible substance entered the facial cavity and the two holes above it! I swear I did not know that those two holes existed. And before I could come to terms with this exhilarating experience, a third Alien came and wrapped me in funny binding material. I felt like Frodo after being stabbed and wrapped into a cocoon by Shelob the spider.
And then started the incessant passing the parcel. The third alien handed me over to a new kind of aliens. They looked different, They were not green or did not look like green blobs. But they kept passing me from one alien to another and pointed strange devices at me and made weird noises.
Its been two weeks since these crazy aliens abducted me. I cannot even begin to relate all the crazy things they've done with me. (Who pours one liquid in the facial cavity and one liquid all over the body and then rubs it?). Sometimes I feel they are marinating me before the feast. Sometimes I feel there is more to this than meets the eye.
I'll tell you more bout these aliens later, but trust me, I'm not crazy.
P.S: I don't know how I know about 'This is the end' and 'Scottie' and 'Frodo' and 'Aata Maajhi Satakli'. The aliens seems to have implanted false memories in me or maybe this is genetically encoded or maybe this is a case of 'Punar Janam' (re-birth) or maybe its just Dad being completely filmy.
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