I saw Beckett again on October 7th after a gap of three months. She was glad to see me but by now I'm firmly an unreliable, quite literally a fly by night operator, who doesn't stick around too long. And on my part, this guilt and fear prevented me from getting or getting her too attached, both for her and my good. This was the most heart breaking part of my trip back home despite all the fun she and I had learning "Chaow Meow", teaching her to jump and skip, flying drones, and spotting monkeys in Matheran.
So being a long distance father is definitely not working for me and I'm going to put an end to it in the next couple of months.
But this post is not about that, nor is it about Beckett.
This post is about Atman. And although he is my brother, by virtue of being 10 years 4 months and 3 days younger to me and us losing our father when he was just 2 years and 6 months old, he is figuratively my first born. And despite all the joy Beckett has given me, he is and probably will always remain my greatest pride.
I was amazed at the maturity he displayed during an especially ugly incident. I'm especially grateful to him for the incredible kindness he showered on me. My pride just doubled (he being a funny guitarist, pianist, debater, photographer, designer, techie, know-it-all, good human being has already made me really proud of him) and I couldn't be more thrilled to see the boy I raised become the man I always wanted him to be.
I'm truly sorry for not standing up for him and picking peace over doing what was right. I promise to do better next time.
You can catch some of his work here:
1. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqR0KbhMEkxBmjn-kJ3otyw
2. http://atmanpandya.github.io/
But it is the person who is more amazing. You should meet him once.
