Pappa gets serious

Nanhi Kali, an affiliate organisation of the company I work with is currently doing a 'Proud fathers for daughters' campaign. Prime Minister Modi recently did a #Selfiewithdaughter campaign just after Aarvi was born. I received plenty of messages suggesting that it would be a good idea to participate in these campaigns.  

The thing is that I'm what you would call a pseudo private person. I'm not on facebook. Am on twitter but rarely post anything personal there. Have 3 blogs; this one is public for the time being (given that only a single reader somewhere in the US reads it), another is accessible only to 5 other readers, and one is just for me. There is a set of people whom I care about and / or trust (and want to be cared by and / or trusted by). I open up and reach out to them; sometimes for attention, sometimes for advice, and sometimes because I just want them to know what is going on in my life and vice versa. Other than that, I generally keep to myself.

I stoutly refused to participate in any of these campaigns because I had no interest in being mentioned by a famous person or being seen with my daughter by millions of people. 

And then Shruti Seth happened to twitter. (Read from bottom to top). I disagree with her calling the #selfiewithdaughter campaign an eye wash. Here is a guy (I'm an unabashed, unapologetic supporter of our PM) trying to create awareness about one of the worst problems in India. Questioning his intent definitely reeked of bad faith or complete lack of knowing how change is brought about. That said, she had every right to say what she said.

The reactions to her tweet however (some mentioned in the article I've linked), vindicated completely my decision not to participate in these campaigns. It is precisely these kind of people (can they be called that?) I want to avoid coming in contact with me or my daughter.   

After Aarvi's birth this trait has hardened further. Before writing mails or sharing dropbox links of her photos, I wonder if I'm sending them to the right folks. Some I've regretted sending, some I've regretted not sending immediately. 

The instinct to protect her, the hapless paranoia of not knowing what and who to protect her from, and the humbling realisation that someday I'll have to learn to be bigger than this crippling fear, are new to me. These are emotional and intellectual nerve centers I never knew existed in me.

Will need time and help.  

Paternity Policy - Update

There is no fucking paternity leave. Not even those two fucking days! They were something else. 

Should I go on a public rant about this on twitter (I'm not on facebook) and risk losing my job? 

Should I just not fucking care and change jobs as a protest against this travesty?

What a horrible organisation am I working with?

It is good that I've accumulated so much leave over the last 6 years that I was comfortably able to spend two weeks with my ailing wife and new born daughter.

For all the Vision and Ambition and Driving Positive Change and Rise that we talk about, this is one piece of absolute douche baggery !  

If you are wondering where this rant came from, read this.

I'm not crazy - Part 1

I was comfortably sleeping in my dark sack when the first alien made contact. It literally tore open the atmospheric layer and tried to grab me. But I was in no mood to get kidnapped. I pushed back into the dark sack. 

Not to mention that I hate it when somebody wakes me up. It ruins the rest of the day and robs me of my productivity. Around Mid day I start feeling the slump. The motivation to kick or drink my own pee or stare at that funny long serpentine tube around my neck just vanishes around afternoon. Not the mention the dark circles that I get. Oh I so hate it when someone wakes me up. 

That's when the other alien tried to push the ground beneath my feet towards the cut in the atmosphere. It felt as if the heavens were collapsing down to the earth or the earth was rising to the stars. And this scared me. I'd learnt to deal with pokes and pushes and the universe getting space crunched from time to time. But this was different. 

My suspicion was finally proved right. Aliens exist! And they've finally made contact! Let's play the Carpenters' Interplanetary craft song! But these aliens seemed aggressive and I was worried.

Then suddenly there was a lot of light and some weird red gooey liquid flowing all around. And lots of confusing noises. I thought for a fleeting moment of triumph that the Alien mechanism was malfunctioning and they were beating a retreat. I would go back happily to sleep in my dark sack again. But that's when it happened and I was proved utterly wrong!

You remember how in 'This is the End' everyone gets sucked up into the sky? 'Beam me up Scottie' types? An alien probe came in and started sucking my head towards the skies and before I knew the aliens had pulled me into outer space. 

It was so bright! And disorienting! and Uncomfortable! 

This weird green alien came and removed that funny tube from around my neck. I didn't like it. That tube was mine. And just as I was coming to terms with the separation from my home and the funny tube, it came and cut the tube! That was it. 'Aata Maajhi Satakli', I said. But before I could throw my fit, another alien grabbed me by the legs and hung me up side down and started hitting me from behind. I yelped in pain and some funny noises came out of my facial cavity and some weird invisible substance entered the facial cavity and the two holes above it! I swear I did not know that those two holes existed. And before I could come to terms with this exhilarating experience, a third Alien came and wrapped me in funny binding material. I felt like Frodo after being stabbed and wrapped into a cocoon by Shelob the spider.

And then started the incessant passing the parcel. The third alien handed me over to a new kind of aliens. They looked different, They were not green or did not look like green blobs. But they kept passing me from one alien to another and pointed strange devices at me and made weird noises. 

Its been two weeks since these crazy aliens abducted me. I cannot even begin to relate all the crazy things they've done with me. (Who pours one liquid in the facial cavity and one liquid all over the body and then rubs it?). Sometimes I feel they are marinating me before the feast. Sometimes I feel there is more to this than meets the eye.

I'll tell you more bout these aliens later, but trust me, I'm not crazy.  

P.S: I don't know how I know about 'This is the end' and 'Scottie' and 'Frodo' and 'Aata Maajhi Satakli'. The aliens seems to have implanted false memories in me or maybe this is genetically encoded or maybe this is a case of 'Punar Janam' (re-birth) or maybe its just Dad being completely filmy.