Thursday 29 December 2016

A to Z Challenge: W is for Wonder

This song by Lee Ann Womack was the Status Message Aunt's first gift to Beckett. I wonder how it had not yet found its way to this blog.

This is what I wish for my little girl. I wish for you the gift of wonder. 

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth making
Don't let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone?

Tuesday 27 December 2016

A to Z Challenge: U is for Ugly

The letter 'U' didn't like being ignored. It did not take very kindly to the seemingly step fatherly treatment meted out to it on this blog. It decided to make it to presence felt in the most the unpalatable of ways. Everything about this post is Ugly. 

You all know that Beckett is a biter. To clear the air and put all concerns to rest, let me assure you that this is completely normal behaviour. Toddlers don't know how to express their emotions and feelings. And sometimes biting is their way of expressing what they feel and of showing affection. 

But that is definitely not how the bitee or her parents see things. And I was worried about this. 

Pappa has raised this concern with all the stakeholders minor and major. However he was summarily dismissed along with his concerns by one and all. No one realized that I was more concerned about protecting Beckett from the repercussions of her biting rather than wanting to rebuke her. Maybe I did not communicate it properly or maybe it is human nature to interpret any opposing view point as an accusation. But no one listened. 

You know where this is going, right? 

A few days ago, when Beckett and Missus were enjoying the playful bounties of the playground next door along with few other kids and their parents, Beckett ambushed an unsuspecting, hapless 18 month old girl with her proficient incisors. She was expecting a warm hug but got a bite free along with it. Needless to say the bitee broke into a weep and that elicited a reaction from her protective not so happy father. Things got ugly. 

'Other Pappa' as we shall refer to him, quite rudely brought this to the attention of Missus. I wouldn't blame him. I would've probably reacted more viciously had someone else bitten Beckett. Missus, not the most empathetic of people and quite oblivious to the other child's pain, brushed it aside and tried to reason with Other Pappa that this was Beckett's way of showing affection. Bad Call!! 

Parents don't like being told that it is natural for another child to hurt their own. So Other Pappa, who was now annoyed even more, very curtly and stingingly averred that if this was Beckett's normal behaviour then then she should be isolated from other kids and be kept caged at home. His tone, demeanour, and behaviour were intimidating. 

While this shook Missus badly, I'm sure that my words of truth and wisdom rankled and echoed through her disturbed mind now as she dealt with this situation. To make matters worse, she made the mistake of relaying the incident to me. To an over anxious, guilt ridden, long distance, paranoid father and husband who now also has to contend with the prospect of a disgruntled stranger stalking his wife and daughter. 

And this was happening just about five days after I had pleaded on folded knees to everyone to listen to me. That riled me even more.  Things got ugly. 

So instead of sympathizing with Missus and being her bolster, I kind of blasted her for putting both Beckett and her own safety at risk. (It's not only Missus who is bad at empathizing). 

Obviously Missus didn't like it and hung up on me. What followed was a nuclear war that kept escalating with every step that the other person took. Things got ugly. 

Missus fired the first salvo by blocking me on Whatsapp. I think her anger was justified given the uncharitable words I'd used. 

Pappa tried to make peace, but she didn't relent. That's when Pappa shifted the orbit of escalation. Blocking can be done both ways. And Whatsapp is not the only thing that can be blocked. Pappa carpet bombed every available channel of communication, didn't even spare profile pictures. After all I'm living alone in a foreign city. If I go MIA for a couple of days, all hell would break loose back home. 

It was only then that the nuclear winter thawed. All parties except Other Pappa, who thankfully we've not encountered since that fateful evening , admitted that they could've done better and promised to be more vigilant and sensitive, and took things back to the long and winding road of normalcy. 

To any parents and spouses reading this, I have two pieces of advice. 

1. Always give some genuine consideration to what your spouse suggests, no matter how frivolous or impractical it may seem. They have the child's and your best interest at heart. 

2. As a spouse, your job is not to be right, but to be what your spouse needs you to be at that moment. that is the best gift that you can give him or her. 

This looks like a handsome ending to an Ugly post. Until next time.       

Sunday 18 December 2016

A to Z Challenge: V is for Vicarious

2 weeks ago I was at one of my uncles' place for a small get together. Deepak Kaaka's son Anand (my cousin) has a son who is 4 months younger than Aarvi. Rutu, another cousin of mine has had her baby 4 months ago. 

Anand had some apprehensions that seeing Jayant (his son) and Presha (Rutu's daughter) might make me a bit forlorn since I would be missing Beckett.

Fortunately, Pappa's brain is wired a bit differently. Pappa enjoyed his time with both Jayant and Presha. 

Instead of feeling glum, I really enjoyed the vicariousness of the situation and was really grateful.  

Here's the latest from what Beckett has been up to. Please don't ask me what the tooth brush is for.



But she's been busy. Going to office with Missus on 'bring your kids to work' day, the Mall on Saturday, meeting Aatn kaaka on Sunday, and making paper pirate hats and airplanes. 

She's growing up fast and I'm missing it.

P.S: Missus is really awesome. You knew this, but she's even more awesome than that.

P.S.2: Did anyone notice that we skipped the 'U'?  

Wednesday 30 November 2016

A to Z Challenge: T is for Troublemaker

So Beckett met her cousin Anaaya for the first time last Saturday. And she was excited. But her excitement did not bode well for Anaaya. 

I'll just let the pictures do the talking.


The Bearhug !


The Bite Marks !


The Uneasy Peace Treaty


The Enfant Terrible and The Pensive Precious


That said, Anaaya has her ways of getting back at Beckett from what Missus tells me. But as the protective Fua, I worry about her and 3 month old Aaria. Beckett can inflict some serious damage while having her fun. 

And what was Pappa doing all this time?


Checking out graduate schools for Beckett, Anaaya, & Aaria with Niki Kaaka

P.S: Beckett gets the biting from both her parents. But I tend to believe that I am the more proficient one. 

Monday 21 November 2016

A to Z Challenge: S is for Skill

Long distance Pappa gets his Beckett updates these days through whatsapp videos and google duo phone calls.

In the past two and half weeks since I've been away, Beckett has now started acquiring greater skill in whatever she's been doing. 

The steps are no longer wobbly. There is poise and elan in them, in circles she moves in, and even in her falls. She falls knowing fully well that she is going to fall and starts taking evasive action while falling so that the impact is as gentle as possible.

The babble vocabulary has just exploded. Mai Matala (Mari Masala (spices)) to Taavi (Chaavi (keys)) to Pappa nu (Pappa's) to Saaf karyu (Cleaned it). The list is unending.

Lastly there is much greater control in how she manipulates physical objects. Be it throwing a ball or kicking it or just pouring water from one container to another.

Monday 14 November 2016

A to Z Challenge: R is for Rend

I find it very difficult coming to and writing this blog. While in the previous post i mentioned that it was difficult for Missus and my mother, I think it is really tough on yours truly as well. 

Living alone and having to take care of your own, especially when you've never done it before, adjusting to a new work environment, and being separated from Missus and Beckett and my mother is gut wrenching if you can see and feel things from my point of view.

I want the lump in my throat to go away, I want my eyes not to well up every time I see Beckett on the screen of my phone, I want someone to constantly keep telling me that this too shall pass, and that too very soon.

:'(

Sunday 13 November 2016

Long distance Pappa

Beckett, Missus, Baa, Naana, Atman, and Pappa had a wonderful Diwali together. And although the 4 day holiday was dotted with unwanted shopping trips and meetings with folks, I was just glad to have this time together with loved ones.

Then Pappa moved to San Francisco. For work. 

It gave me an idea of what it will feel like when Beckett gets married or... when I die. Only that Beckett is not getting married and I am not dying. But the pain of separation is tremendous, especially for Missus and for my mother. 

So the last 10 odd days, I've been a long distance Pappa who talks to Beckett over video calls (Thank God for Google Duo)

It is a tough many months ahead for Pappa and everyone back in Mumbai. But I think this is for everybody's best, looking at the future.

Beckett now speaks in sentences, says 'Haa' (Yes) in addition to the customary 'Na', and continues to scare us by injuring herself every now and then. 

Thursday 20 October 2016

A to Z Challenge: Q is for Q

Beckett just started recognizing 'Q' and '8' yesterday. And today she started recognizing A & X.


The benefits of having a life long teacher (my Mom) taking care of you are simply too many.

P.S: Please don't ask me what's up with the order of things.

Tuesday 18 October 2016

A to Z Challenge: P is for Pappa

'Samyak, you know what? The entire day she chants "Pappa, Pappa". Whenever someone rings the doorbell, or whenever she hears some noise from outside, she goes "Pappa.". But she never says Mummy.'

Beckett utters the word 'Pappa' in the cutest possible way. The way she greets me when I reach home from work is seared into me for eternity. That one high pitched lilting syllable followed by the second low pitched one just melts the day away. She can then scratch, bite, or scream the living daylights out of me and I won't be even the slightest bit perturbed.

But for all her paeans of Pappa, you just have to see what happens when Missus arrives. Beckett doesn't have to utter any word. Maybe it is the boobs, or more likely the fact that Missus goes to any extent needed to ensure that the best is done for Beckett both while she is at home and when she is not. When Missus is at home, there is no way Pappa can hold a candle to her.

But Pappa does other weird and fun things; like holding Beckett upside down and swinging her by her legs, or getting into tightly contested gibberish matches with her only to lose after putting up the most valiant of fights, or reading out books to and with her, or playing both Hindi & English songs - right from the golden oldies to today's pop hits, or eating her food when she refuses, or bathing her and teaching her to bobble her head under water in the bathtub, or getting glow toys for her to see and marvel at in the dark, or pushing the swing, the roundabout, and the sea-saw while she has fun at the other end, or playing Raag Hansdhwani for 10 seconds before she starts making a go for my Baansuri, or the ever so dreadful potty ritual - which has now become a productivity game where the objective is to minimise the usage of wet wipes and time taken while not compromising on the cleaning quality. 

Pappa is alright.    

Wednesday 5 October 2016

A to Z Challenge: O is for Oh My God

She bleeds.

It can be a cut on the index finger made by a razor pulled out of a bag after opening the zipper or banging a cell phone on her own mouth or grazing herself by falling on asphalt while trying to take one step too many or a sliding window, its frame, and her finger agreeing to a violently impromptu rendezvous, or the prick of the vaccine needle.

Each time I go through something like this, my heart sinks, part of me goes numb, and the one unequivocal thought that rankles in my completely baffled mind is 'Oh My God, what have I done to her!', 'Oh My God, how horrible a father am I!', 'Oh My God, it could've been so much worse!', 'Oh My God, what is the next thing I should brace for?' (Okay, that's 4 thoughts, but you get what I'm talking about, right?)

And there is so much more both she and I have to go through yet. I now have some inkling of what my mother would've gone through when I told her I was going sky diving or when Atman left for college in New Delhi. I can't even imagine sending her to school alone for a couple of hours. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. I'm so screwed. 

P.S: I didn't mention Boys here, but that thing scares the absolute shit out of me. I know what horrible jerks they can be. Takes one to know one.

Wednesday 28 September 2016

A to Z Challenge: N is for Na

Pappa: "Aarvi, do you want to take a nap?"

Beckett: "Na"

Pappa: "Aarvi, do you want to go Pee Pee?"

Beckett: "Na"

Pappa: "Aarvi, do you want to go Poopy?"

Beckett: "Na"

Pappa: "Aarvi, do you want to have Mmm Mmm?"

Beckett: "Na"

Pappa: "Aarvi, please show me how the force works"

Beckett: "Na"

Pappa: "Aarvi, lets sing a song"

Beckett: "Na"

Pappa: Aarvi, you want to go Ba Ba?"

Beckett: (Silent smile)

Pappa: "Aarvi, come here"

Beckett: "Na"

Pappa: "Aarvi, but you have to wear your shoes if you want to go Ba Ba"

Beckett: "Na"

Beckett: "Data Morya. Bumma, Aaa ii Aa ii Aa ii ya. Aaoouu.... Aa Bun, Pappa"

Beckett: "Aapo, Aapo, Aapo"

Beckett: "Baaman... Baamnanaa" (Presses the power button while Pappa is typing a blog post...

Tuesday 27 September 2016

A to Z Challenge: M is for Monkey business

We were in Vadodara last weekend and took Beckett to the zoo. And it is an impressive zoo. Lions, tigers, leopards, deer, ghariyals, peacocks, pelicans, blue crowned pigeons, rabbits, tortoises, and what not.

While this was my first trip to the Vadodara zoo, it was Beckett's fourth or fifth. I guess by now, the majesty of these caged animals had become passe to her. So she was more interested in the pack of Grey Langurs that was not inside a cage, and was marauding  the zoo with complete impunity and was at times baiting the hapless leopards with their long tails. 

The fact that there were a few infants in the pack made Beckett all the more curious. 

Missus was at her protective best keeping a constant eye on the rouge monkeys lest one of them make a grab for the apple of her eye (Beckett).

The whole thing felt like being in a surreal setting. We had wild animals all around us. Neither was Beckett interested in seeing them, nor was Missus interested in protecting her from them. What both of them were most interested in was a bunch of monkeys.

(Sometimes I feel it could very well be me instead of the bunch of monkeys because at some point, for no reason, both Missus and Beckett are interested in what I am upto)

Being a son/daughter and parent is very much like this all throughout life. 

My mother still worries if I've had proper food or not and worries about Atman's whereabouts even though we've roamed all around the world on our own. We on our part are more interested in things that 10 years down the line will seem frivolous. 

All parent child relations are like that.

So much for Monkey business !

Wednesday 21 September 2016

A to Z Challenge: L is for 42

Life, Universe, and Everything. 

That is Beckett for you.

A to Z Challenge: K is for Kapish

No, this post is not about the Indian Monkey God Hanuman. This post is about Capisce. It is complicated, messy, and at times unsavory.

It is about how I try to explain things to Beckett, like the numbers on the lift, how 0 means the ground floor and how 3 means the floor where we live, how Chandamama (moon maternal uncle) means the moon and where to look for it, how 'Ba ba' is followed by 'black sheep', how it is not okay to bite Missus or me or Baa (my mom), and how she should learn to walk on her own without the fear of falling down because falling and getting up is part of life.

But it is also about how Beckett tries to explain things to me, like how it is not okay to pull her out of the bath tub till she is satisfied pouring all the water out or into multiple containers or anywhere she pleases, how Pappa has no standing in front of Mummy or for that matter even Baa, how even th//smallest things like Baa going to the bathroom can trigger the most severe bouts of separation anxiety, how it is essential to eat food on one's own even if it means an entire room of mess for Mummy to clean, how it is essential to lay down your own law while Pappa lays down his for you.

If this wasn't enough, this post is also about Pappa trying to explain to Mummy that it is not cool to give in to Beckett's tantrum tactics, how it sets a bad precedent that is very difficult to reverse, how we must choose what is right and not what is convenient. It is about Mummy trying to explain to Pappa that Beckett is too young to lay down the law, how it is a better idea to distract rather than discipline, how only those who have the luxury of not having to do it talk about choosing right over convenient, how Pappa himself does a few things that are convenient but not right.

If this too wasn't enough, this post is about the grandparents who get involved and try to explain things to the children in law, and the uncles and aunts start pitching in their two cents too which really irritates Pappa and Mummy but separately on separate issues on separate counts. 

So in the end this is a post about how everyone wants to 'Kapish?' the other person but does not want to 'Kapish' himself or herself. And therein lies the rub.

P.S: Beckett now walks. Actually it's more of waddling like a duck. Interesting times ahead.  

Thursday 8 September 2016

A to Z Challenge: I is for If and Ithaca

This is an erroneous post. It shouldn't be here. You should understand how fried my brain is given that I'm going back in the alphabet. Too many things floating around loose in there. 

I'm going to be very banal and leave here for Beckett the mothers of all paternal advice. Lets start with Ithaca because I think this is more important and in line with how I view life.





Ithaca

As you set out for Ithaca
hope the voyage is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them:
you’ll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope the voyage is a long one.
May there be many a summer morning when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you come into harbors seen for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind—
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.

Keep Ithaca always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you are destined for.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you are old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaca to make you rich.

Ithaca gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you will have understood by then what these Ithacas mean. 


And now for If. But this is really not coming from me, this is not me. I'm a man full of flaws and follies. I have no right to preach this. I give 'If' to Beckett more as a student and peer than as a preacher of it.


If

If you can keep your head when all about you   
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, 
But make allowance for their doubting too;   
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, 
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, 
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise: 

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster 
And treat those two impostors just the same;   
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken 
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, 
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools: 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings 
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, 
And lose, and start again at your beginnings 
And never breathe a word about your loss; 
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 
To serve your turn long after they are gone,   
And so hold on when there is nothing in you 
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ 

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch, 
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, 
If all men count with you, but none too much; 
If you can fill the unforgiving minute 
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!


P.S: The amazing thing about Gujarati, my mother tongue is that I can call Beckett by the word for 'son', but if I ever have a son, I can never address him by the word for 'daughter'. Only daughters have that privilege and right.

Many thanks to Messers Cavafy and Kipling for their kind wise words.

Wednesday 7 September 2016

A to Z Challenge: J is for Jedi Force

I've been teaching Beckett about The Force.

And she's a quick learner.


Then she taught me something about the force in return (That it was she who was teaching me and not the other way round).

May the Force Be With You.

Saturday 13 August 2016

Move over Phelps

This Olympic season, the one thing that has completely blown through the roof is Michael Phelps. As if his breaking a 2100 year old record was not enough, he broke the internet with the Phelps Face.

But even the greatest Olympian of all time has got nothing over Beckett.

Ladies & Gentlemen, I present to you the Beckett Face! And I shall leave it at that.


Friday 29 July 2016

Break Time

So we are taking some time off from the A to Z challenge.  Beckett has grown and experienced and learnt and taught and lived some of her most amazing times in the last couple of months that I'd vanished from this blog.

Here's a quick update:

1. She's gone straight from tummy crawling to walking, skipping the crawling on the haunches phase. While she still walks while holding on to something, there are those priceless moments where she forgets that she needs to keep her balance, takes three or four independent steps before realizing the absence of any support, and then either lunges towards the nearest thing or sits down with a thud.

2. Two teeth have crept up from below and another two are waiting to come out from up above. Tough times ahead for the still breast feeding Missus.

3. The tongue wags a lot more. 'Pappa' is now easy. So next I'm going to try and teach her how to pronounce Bhaskaracharya.

4. She now explains things. With a captivating combination of gazes, gestures, grimaces, and gibberish (so much for the perfect alliteration) ! Right from wanting to go outside, to calling for specific people, to eating, and drinking water.

5. The Start / Stop buttons on iPads, Phones, Remote controls, and computers are her kryptonite, just can't resist them.

6. Gets angry real quick. Take away a trinket she's playing with and boy you've had it. Thankfully gets distracted just as easily. Best trick to learn as a parent.

7. Shows separation anxiety. Won't go to strangers. Hugs Missus, Me, and her grandparents tightly. Likes my Father in Law more than everyone else.  

Monday 25 July 2016

A to Z Challenge: I is for Illness (June 22nd 2016)

Beckett fell sick a couple of days after her 1st birthday. This may have had a little bit to do with it:


While she took to the cold water like a fish and enjoyed every bit of the 3 minute rendezvous with the swimming pool, I take full responsibility of not ensuring that she be spared the wet windy aftermath that she had to endure. 

The result was a nasty Fever that left Beckett scorching hot listless and Missus sleepless.

It also gave me a firsthand view of how important Moms are to us kids and how our world would fall apart without our moms. Dads don't matter at all when we are sick. Kids instinctively know the sacrifices that Moms are willing to make and turn to them for comfort and succor.

Fevers are not a cool way of turning one. 

But while she lost around 5% of her body weight and scared the living daylights out of all of us, she is much better, and now that she has the anti bodies, she feels like a big strong girl.  

Friday 17 June 2016

A to Z Challenge: H is for Happy Birthday

Dear Aarvi,

You are my Liberian Girl. And if I'd been a bit more talented and devoted, I would've written a song for you which I would call Your Song.

You're the best teacher I've ever had. The kindest one as well. You've not only helped me overcome my fear of poop, but also taught me how to live life better and how to become a better man.

You are the truest love and greatest joy of my life. Happy Birthday my dearest.     

A to Z Challenge: G is for Gratitude and Games

I had a healthy sense of gratitude even before Beckett was born. The past 11 months have just heightened and sharpened that sense. I wish more folks around me shared the same level of gratitude for what's happening in and to our lives, and for the transformation we're witnessing in ourselves as individuals and as a family.

But on the whole, I have too much to be grateful about. From Beckett's health to her upkeep to the creature comforts that we enjoy to the work that I get to do.

Beckett has games she plays with everyone in the family. Like trolling Atman, or Peek-a-boo with Baa, or Giggles Galore while climbing down the stairs and seeing mummy rushing from behind, or 'Hawa maa Paand da ude, Aarvi ne bau game' (The leaves fly in the air and Aarvi likes it very much), or Adko Daduko, or meeting and greeting each of her inanimate friends like Snow white, Panda, and the likes, immediately after waking up in the morning, or telling Pappa where to go and charting the course of the daily walks.

Here's to one full year of gratitude and games. May this just be the beginning.  

Sunday 22 May 2016

A to Z Challenge: F is for Fish & Feline

En route our daily walk is a restaurant called Campus. It houses a small aquarium with two fish tanks. One tank has a solitary Cichlid fish with a huge nuchal hump. The other tank has a multitude of other types of fish - Tetras, Goldfish, Tiger sharks, Cat Fish and other smaller ones. 

Our tryst with these Fish started out about a month ago when I thought it would be a good idea for Beckett to see these fish and for us to find how she would react to them. Over the last couple of weeks it became a ritual, and now Beckett asks to be taken to the aquarium as we pass by the restaurant. 

The Cichlid reacts to Beckett's hand movements as she puts her finger to the fish tank and comes by to check if it is some sort of food. Or maybe it is bored and welcomes the break from solitude. The fish in the other tank are nonchalant and go about their lives as if nothing has happened.

I personally enjoy these pit stops because one of the restaurant's durbaans is the Indian version of Tyrion Lannister. I'm in awe of him. His zen like presence and his 'I've seen lot of shit in life and don't give a f***' look leave me spell bound.

The other thing that happens during our walks is the company of a young white and brown kitten. One day instead of just watching the kittens, I decided to talk to them and mewed and 'pucchh pucchh' ed at them. This little fellow got excited and followed Beckett & me right to the elevator of our building. I fed it some milk and that was that. From the next day, the kitten started accompanying us on our walks. It sees us coming, climbs down from the wall it is perched upon and walks just behind or next to us. When it is playful, it comes from behind, and crosses our path and then waits till we go ahead and then repeats it from the other direction. And both Beckett and I find the whole thing really amusing while Missus is constantly worried about Beckett touching the kitten and catching some sort of infection. 

So now technically, without having any pets Beckett has a kitten and some Fish to play with.         

A to Z Challenge: E is for Eureka

Beckett helps me experience two types of Eurekas. The First kinds are my own whereas the Second kinds are hers.

Let me give you a few examples:

My Eurekas:

1. She may enjoy listening to music. Let's try a few Bollywood songs. Result: Smiles galore from Beckett. Overly terrified Missus petrified that Beckett will go deaf.

2. I should try teaching her numbers (at 4 months). Result: Beckett: What are those wriggly things attached to the end of your palm?

3. How will she react if I hold her upside down by her legs? Result: Missus: 'You are going to give my child Shaken Baby Syndrome, you brute! Do you have any idea how much effort I've put in to bring her into this world?' Beckett: Wow! Once more please! The view from down under is so awesome!'

4. Lets read to her. Doesn't matter if it is 'Tuesdays with Morrie' or 'Jack & the bean stalk' or 'Polar bear Polar bear'. It should help build her vocabulary. Result: Beckett: You can have my attention for 10 seconds with Tuesdays, but after that I need to see stuff or touch things to be kept busy.

5. Lets see if she can shape sort or identify people. Result: Bekett: Of course I can identify people, but I don't get the point of shape sorting. Why put pegs in holes when they are so much fun to chew on or to throw.


Beckett's Eurekas:

1. I might enjoy eating this. Result: Mostly both Missus and I get mini heart attacks whenever she finds something new to eat (eg: tearing out the rexine off the sofa, one of our flip flops, a fork, paper, the wall, phone chargers, phones, the list can go on and on) and thereafter our energies get concentrated in ensuring that the entire repository of these objects are out of her reach.

2. I should cry when things are not going as per my will. Result: Mostly deception & distraction and sometimes giving in to demands that are genuine. Sometimes fierce fights between Missus and yours truly about what course to take.

3. I should smile when I want things to go according to my will. Result: Lots of 'awww...s' and smiles and melting hearts and Beckett getting what she wants.

4. Eurekas of Movement: If I push hard enough with my left hand while turning my left leg over, I'm able to turn over; if I push hard enough with my knee and elbows, I'm able to move forward, if I do a split and tumble forward while sitting, I'm able to go from a sitting to sleeping position. Result: 'Achievement Unlocked' euphoria followed by baby proofing precautions for each of the achievements unlocked.

5.  Identification: Each of these aliens and each of the things that are here have some sort of identification code. The guy with the beard is called 'Pappa', the lady who sticks her boobs in my mouth every time I cry is called 'Mummy', the lady with white hair is called 'Baa'. The big round orb is called Ball, the sticker on the wall is called 'Snow White', the colourful long thing is 'caterpillar', and the black & white thing is 'Panda'. And the Aliens are amused whenever I identify these things. Result: 'Aarvi, where's mummy, where's Panda, where's Pappa?' And many a times Beckett trolls me by pointing to a chair, or a pillow or the remote control when asked, 'Where's Pappa?' and to console me, Missus cooks up a ridiculous explanation - 'She sees Pappa in everything !' 

Tuesday 3 May 2016

A to Z Challenge: D is for Devotion

It takes a family if not an entire village to raise a child. I'd like to add the word 'devoted' to it.

Last night I fell asleep on the sofa while watching the IPL match. Missus and Mom-in-Law had gone down with Beckett for their evening walk. I had the luxury and privilege (given by Missus) to sleep peacefully while she took care of Beckett. Similarly, Missus and I have the luxury and privilege (given by my mother and Mom-in-Law) to work peacefully throughout the day while they take care of Beckett.

It is to the extreme devotion of these three women that Beckett owes her happy life and I owe my peaceful idyllic existence. Missus has not had a complete night's sleep for the last 16 odd months and in addition to a full day's work, she also ensures that Beckett has everything that she needs while she is away. My mother has lost 6 kg (13 pounds) since she started taking full time care of Beckett. Both she and Mom-in Law are the earliest risers in the house and almost always the last ones to call it a day at night.

But what I find incredible is the dedication and discipline that all 3 of them bring to taking care of Beckett and the rest of us. It does not come from a sense of duty or obligation, but a devotion that goes beyond oneself. While there is one line of thought that seems to believe that this is a biological or genetic trait, I tend to believe that it is more personal. It is as if in raising Beckett the best way that they possibly can that they find their life's ultimate purpose.

Whereas for me, it is one of the most important things in life, but not the only thing.

To Beckett,

You will never know of all the sleepless nights and early mornings and watchful days and caring embraces and unending selflessness these 3 women have showered upon you. You will only know of them through the chronicles that your bumbling father writes as he marvels at their indefatigable energy and fortitude.

There is no way you will ever be able to thank, acknowledge, or repay them. The only thing you can hope to do is pay it forward when you find yourself in the middle of a similar situation.






Wednesday 27 April 2016

A to Z Challenge: C is for Cuteness Overload

I've always maintained that Atman (my younger brother) is like my first child. When at the age of 10 I learnt that he was going to be born, I was not very thrilled. I took great pride in being an only child and loved all the attention. And I was in no mood to share it with anyone.

When Atman was born more than a month premature, he was all of 1700 grams (around 3.8 pounds) and looked like a shriveled little grey musk shrew or like the then prime minister of India, Mr. P.V. Narasimharao. I can best describe my feeling when I first saw him as yucky!

But then he grew up a little bit and got really cute. the wrinkles disappeared, his colour turned pink, and he learnt to make the most adorable baby faces. 

As the years passed by, his cuteness was visible through the sweet little stupid things that he did like once publicly averring that Akhil bhai wanted him taken away from home because he (Atman) had seen his (Akhil bhai's) bottom when he was sleeping, or blackmailing Nachiket and me when he caught us watching 'The Popoye Show' (if you know what I mean) on Nachiket's computer, or standing up to his class teacher when she tried to hit him for no reason.

Then puberty hit and Atman discovered the joys of playing music and becoming a wise ass (the other pleasures he refrains from discussing with me). His cuteness now shows in the music videos he makes and the hilarious punny jokes that he cracks round the clock.

Beckett's cuteness in stark contrast to Atman's is visual in nature. She has a captivating stare and a flair for being unbelievably photogenic. She charms her way to what she wants. I can't wait to see how her cuteness unfolds as the years roll by.

Tuesday 26 April 2016

A to Z Challenge: B is for Beckett, Ba Ba, Baa, Baap, BAE, Baaiiee, Books, and Boobies

The letter B is like the 42 of Beckett's universe. Between all the words I mentioned above, all of her needs and wants are taken care of.

Maybe we can add Baby wipes to the list.

Monday 25 April 2016

A to Z Challenge: A is for Aarvi

Did you guys know that around 17 years ago while I was studying engineering, I had decided to name my daughter Tapasya (vaguely means Penance but is one of those Sanskrit words that don't have an English synonym)? She was to be named after a delightfully enchanting girl from the Saboo Siddique engineering college who was setting the ramp on fire at the college cultural festival fashion show circuit.

I didn't know then that I would ever get married or have a daughter or agonize over what name she should have.

'Tapasya' the name fell out of favour when one of the unbearably interminable Hindi daily soaps named its principal antagonist Tapasya. Those were dark times; when thanks to Missus, I had to endure the daily nocturnal torture of watching the horror of horrors that was that daily soap.

Before Beckett was born, both Missus and I went through a rigorous exercise of searching for the perfect name. You can read about it here. But nothing that we got or found enthused us. 

By then I had made up my mind that if a boy my child were to be, Aragorn he would be called; and if a daughter were to bless our house, Arwen she would be.

There is no way Missus would have allowed me to name our son Aragorn, but Arwen seemed like something both of us could arrive at a consensus on. 

I also meandered between names like Aafreen (Beautiful in Urdu) and Kashish (Charm in Urdu), but both were summarily rejected by everyone else in the family for sounding too 'Not Hindu'. 

So I finally pitched Arwen with great hope that 'Noble Maiden', 'Beautiful', 'Friend of the People' would be acceptable to everyone. But Missus swept it aside with one stroke of her hand saying Arwen will get bastardised to Arvind (popular Indian male name meaning lotus). Also given that Arvind is the name of the current chief minister of Delhi, who I don't hold in too high an esteem, Arwen as my daughter's name was done and dusted once and for all.

That's when I started looking for names closest to Arwen. So there was Aarvis, Avril, Aarna, Aarshi and a few others till I stumbled upon Aarvi.

What immediately struck me about Aarvi the name was that it meant multiple things in Sanskrit (Peace, Melodious) and in one of the Nordic dialects it meant Fearless. It effortlessly met my three criteria of being uncommon, mellifluous, and meaningful. And more importantly won the heart of Missus with its simplicity.  

By the time Atman made use aware of the impending and inevitable 'Are we' and 'RV' jokes, the horse had already bolted, Missus and her father had already made up their mind, and I had had enough of struggling with name searching.

And that is how Beckett was christened Aarvi.        

Aarvi is now 10 months old and does a perfect split and can now go from sitting to crawling all by herself. 

Saturday 16 April 2016

The Baap of All Things

Beckett talks a lot. And these days she talks a lot of stuff that makes sense. Like she clearly identifies Missus as Mumma and my mother as Baa. Staying with the 'M' and 'B' words, Food is MmmMmm and Going out is BaBaa.

While she knows everyone else in the house including Panda, Caterpillar, Flower, Polar Bear, and the likes, the one person she still doesn't identify well is me. I'm like this Fun guy who appears from time to time to either take her out, or play some music, or make funny faces, or prevent her from chewing any of the numerous remote controls littered across the house. While Missus and Mummy are dead sure that she knows who I am, I still have my doubts.

The not so exciting thing for me is that while she is rapidly growing her vocabulary, the word Pappa is still not on it.

So I've taken it upon myself to nudge her to say the word. So our babbling sessions go something like this:

Pappa: 'Aarvi, Pappa kya che?' (Aarvi, Where's Pappa?). 

Beckett: 'WTF are you talking about dude?

Pappa: 'Pap Pa ! Pap Pa' (Trust me, that is a new low even for me)

Beckett: 'Still not ringing any bells, man! I'm not feeling it.'

Pappa (Now Desperate and in Stewie Griffin mode): 'Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa Pa. Pappa Pappa Pappa Pappa. Pop Pop Pop Pop. Papaa (in Italian accent) Papaa Papaa Papaa.'

Beckett (In Google auto correct mode): 'Did you mean Ba baa or Bubba?'

Pappa (Now Getting Creative):   Listen to This or to this.  

Beckett: 'Okay dude. I get it. You're desperate. But you've got to empathize with me. I can't belt out Ps yet. So I'm proposing a compromising. How about if I call you Baa...phhh...? Baa is a strong suit of mine and Phh.. I've learnt to do whenever you try to feed me something and I don't want to eat it. Go check your dictionary and let me know if this works for you.'

And as it turns out, Baap is the universal Indian (in almost every language), not so respectful, word for father. A Few Bollywood videos should help you figure this out better:


(When it comes to relations, I am your father. My name is Shahenshah (emperor))


(When will the Daddy of ManuRanjan come? (Manoranjan means entertainment in Hindi. And Manu and Ranjan are male Indian names))  

So as things stand now, I am Baa...phhh, father of Beckett, orderer of groceries, singer of hard to understand songs. and writer of hard to make sense of blogs.

Tuesday 12 April 2016

Beckett learns Newton's Third Law of Motion

I'm sure everyone knows Newton's third law of motion. 

'To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction'

What I am sure most of you don't know is the third law that I learnt from my friends at school. For a set of really dirty minds who had just discovered puberty and the wonderful joys it brings, the version went something like this 

'Forward and Backward motion causes a white lotion.' 

(I can't believe I wrote this on a public blog). 

This post however is about the former, and not the latter law. The latter is how Beckett came to be. The former is how the world moves.

Beckett has recently discovered that if she pushes against any surface, vertical or horizontal, it pushes her back, and in the process, helps her to change her position, alter her x-y co-ordinates, and get the feeling of gliding, or flying, or moon walking through her idyllic existence. So everything in the house (including my tummy and face) gets kicked whenever Beckett decides that she has spent enough time at one particular location. 

Crawling is so passe, so yesterday. Pushing your way around is the new in thing. 

Another new pastime she has discovered is finding difficult to get into places - nooks, corners, underside of tables and beds and chairs, - and then finding ways to fit into those spaces. This is a very feline trait and Pappa couldn't be more amused.