The Spider baby selfie kid

Beckett is a selfie taking, spider man style upside down feeding, gadget obsessed, continuously blabbering, day time insomniac, who has little patience for anyone's bullshit and treats Missus as a vending machine and me as her Uber.

#JustRealised #MmmMmm

True Power

Beckett is one of the kindest and most courteous kids I know. 

She politely smiles back at everyone who smiles at her. But never goes to them when they try to take her from me. She never pees or poops when we are out for our walks or when someone is holding her or when sitting (yes, she's started sitting). She patiently waits till we put her on the bed or on the floor and then gives us an indication, either a small shriek, or an aayyee, before doing her thing. 

She tries her best to match her schedule to ours, to be consistent so that we can plan ahead, and to bother us only when absolutely necessary. Almost all of her tantrums are a result of any one of us doing something wrong or trying something new and in the process upsetting the apple cart.

I've mentioned her hierarchy of attention seeking noises in one of my previous posts. Polite, Annoyed, Angry, Distressed, and Big Mistake. But she instinctively knows that the easiest way to get what she wants is by charming her way through it.

True Power strangles you with silk ribbons, charm, and intelligence. 

What a power to be born with.  And what a power to squander away as we grow up.

If wishes were horses...

I wish some people could value a relationship over an ego. 

I wish some people could value harmony over the compulsive need to be right. 

I wish some people could value open communication over passive aggression.

I wish some people could value gratitude over entitlement

I pray I am able to inculcate the ability to value these things in Beckett.

The Guppy

This is one of my favourite Ogden Nash poems. Everyone should read a whole load of Ogden Nash. and if anyone out there is a Gujarati, he/she should read a lot of Jivram Joshi and Antoine de Saint-Exupéry if anyone out there is french. Actually you don't need to be french to read Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. The English translation of The Little Prince is just as fascinating.

The Guppy

Whales have calves, 

Cats have kittens, 

Bears have cubs, 

Bats have bittens, 

Swans have cygnets, 

Seals have puppies, 

But guppies just have little guppies. 

I'm going back to my little guppy. Good Night.

Of iPads and smart phones

Beckett is enamoured by Missus's and my iPads and cell phones. And not to mention the television remote control. And she pursues these with the devout zeal of an evangelist. While, the latter is not a concern, the iPads and phones are proving to be a formidable challenge for both of us.

This is primarily because both our reading is almost exclusively through the electronic medium. We are voracious readers, don't get newspapers, or buy physical books. It means that our iPads and phones are critical elements of our lives.

The only way we can prevent Beckett from getting more fascinated by these things is to not use them when she is awake.

So I now thank Beckett for teaching me another important leadership lesson. Never ask someone to do what you yourself are unwilling to do. Or to rephrase it, your team may not listen to what you say, but they will definitely see what you do. 

Walking the talk is just as important while parenting as it is while leading a business.

Walks with Roy

This post is going to annoy, upset, or piss off almost everyone who reads it. So please make the choice of either reading or not reading this post very carefully. At the outset, let me state that I'm not racist, sexist, or a religious bigot. But I have some extreme libertarian views and some deep rooted cultural insecurities. I really hope the readers will be able to look beyond these flaws of mine.

'Is this just me being sexist or have you noticed that the number of girls smoking has increased dramatically and that of boys has gone down?'

'That seems to be correct, but it is also because we are not used to girls smoking and hence it feels that way much more.'

'You know, that is possibly the worst thing she can do to me when she grows up.'

'What? Smoking? There're many things worse she can do.'

'Like?'

'What if she, and forgive my indiscretion, decides to become a stripper?'

'It's not the most exciting thought ever, but I wouldn't disown her for that. It is socially unacceptable and hence a problem with most folks. I've never really cared about what people think.'

'What if she ends up working for a company like Reliance?'

'As long as it's her choice, I'd be alright with it. But again, not the most pleasant of ideas.'

'See, the reason that these hypothetical possibilities don't bother me much is because in my mind I'm pretty sure that if Nidhi & I do the right things, these situations will never arise.'

'But with things like smoking, we can do everything right, and we still may not be able to do anything about it. This is a complete peer pressure game. And it would just kill me?'

'What if she marries a Muslim?'

'Again, not the most palatable of thoughts, but if it is right for her, I have no business telling her who she can or cannot marry'

'What if she decides to become a Roadie?'

'Roadie or Groupie? Roadie is fine, Groupie is not'

'I meant Groupie. But why is Roadie alright and Groupie not? I'm intrigued.'

'I can distill this entire conversation into a one thought principle. Where her sense of self worth is coming from. Is it intrinsic or through someone else's approval?'

'This is precisely why stripping or Reliance or marrying a someone from another religion is fine but smoking or becoming a groupie will just kill me.' 

'Would you ever marry a smoker?'

'No. In fact that is one of the first things I check whenever I meet someone new. But that said, I've seen and done enough to know that when someone has your number, the deal breakers just don't apply. So I'm not sure what I would do.'

'Yes. And the funny part is that these are just chemical reactions in one's brain that just force you to do the stupidest of things. And the tragic part is that the other person may not even be aware of the havoc he or she may be wreaking in your life. This is also one of the things that I worry about for her.' 

'What? That she might get her heart broken?'

'No. That she will break many hearts, and will not know how to break them gently, and cause way too much collateral damage.'

'Yes. You need to help her there.'

'Its tough being a Dad.'

The Wonder Months

I've been pretty resistant to the idea of posting Beckett's pictures on any social media. Am not on Facebook or Instagram, don't share much private on twitter. But somehow feel like doing it today.

Here are some of her pictures that I really like. They are in no particular chronological order, But are a fair depiction of the journey she has been through the last seven and a half months. I reserve my right to take down this post whenever I feel like it. 

Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers, the next you're gone, but the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul.* I had a memorable childhood that I would not trade for anything in the world. 

I hope we can do the same for Beckett.

Good night Neverland !

* Borrowed from The Wonder Years

The Fall

The inevitable singularity that I knew was coming finally happened today. Yours truly ignored Missus's directive of Beckett needing supervision and accompanied her to have a word with Gau Baa.

While the thud was conspicuous and we were all rushing towards the bedroom, it was the piercing cry after the thud that put our hearts in our mouths. 

Yours truly was more worried about how she landed than about the fall. Dad instincts had ensured that there was a mattress next to the bed (the one I sleep on) to cushion the fall. I normally move the mattress when I'm about to go to bed, but the last few days, I've been moving the mattress much earlier than bed time. 

She was more scared and shaken than hurt. Keeping in line with one of my goals to not turn her into a pansy, I refused to mollycoddle her or react too much to the fall. Didn't allow Missus or Gau Baa to do that either. Just picked her up and went about behaving as nothing had happened. 

It took about a minute to quiet her down. Another before she started smiling again. But she remembered the fall when we took her to the bed again and started crying.

No broken bones and hopefully no other issues and hopefully she will remember this and not fall again.

Note to self: Buy more pillows !  

Ayyyyyyyeeee....

When the queen beckons, she beckons. And everyone abides by her commands.

This is her new way of ensuring that her subjects missing from the line of sight are made visible again.

And this is a loud roaring almost 75 db yell that sometimes scares both Missus and yours truly. 

Everyday everyone learns something new.

The Hard and Soft of it

I never thought that poop, or as unbelievable as it may sound, the lack of it can create so much chaos and engender such perplexing paranoia.

Can swallowing something result in this or would it completely block the damn thing? Is this because of the bananas or because water in the daal was lesser than normal? Is this because of Missus's diet change or because of her added stress at work? Does this happen to all infants or is this specific only to mine? Is this benign or something we should worry about? Is this hurting her or is she fine?

Always good to have Doctor fathers in law to keep one's sanity intact. 

Gau Baa

This post is about my mother. Gau Baa, as Beckett calls her or once babbled and it stuck as her name, has devoted her entire life to other people. 

First to her nephews when she was young, then to her sons whom she single handedly raised with great difficulty under terrible circumstances, and now to Beckett. I should also mention the 33 years that she spent teaching not so privileged kids the virtues of language, geography, and moral uprightness as a school teacher.

Yours truly has been an unfair son to Gau Baa. First dedicating his formative years to the pursuit of play and education, then to career, then again to education and love, then again to career, and then to his wife, and finally to his wife and daughter. I've always taken from my mother, unfairly blamed her for a few bad things that happened to me, been extremely uncharitable towards her shortcomings, and not been the most amazing son when she's needed me to be one.

She's always given, like all mothers do, without any expectations, always given both Atman and me the freedom to shape and pursue our own destinies, her circumstances and hardships not withstanding, and literally given up living 'her' life for us.

When she finally retired in 2013, I was happy that she would now pursue things that she really wanted to do. And she did and still does. She travels all across India with her friends and sisters. She goes to dance recitals and Indian classical music concerts and art exhibitions on weekends. She teaches Beckett a plethora of things including words, objects, and play and Beckett seems to learn faster from Gau Baa than from anyone else. Beckett in turn keeps Gau Baa on her toes and is bringing her fitness levels back to what they were before she retired.

I think Beckett is the 1st person who is giving Gau Baa as much as she is receiving. She is rejuvenating my mother in a way that is very difficult to do - emotionally, spiritually, and physically. 

Go Beckett, Go Gau Baa.