A to Z Challenge: Y is for Yearn, Yonder, and Youth

Becoming a parent fu*ks you up in ways you cannot imagine. Your priorities change, but the paradoxes of those changing priorities tear you asunder in opposing directions. 

You yearn for your child when she is away from you but you also yearn for the good old days when the pressure of not fu*king up her life was not on your shoulder. If you are a mother, you yearn for the good old days when a whole night's sleep was not a luxury.

You look yonder; in time and in space. What and where is the best future for your child? Is it in line with that for you and the rest of your family? You Yo-Yo between what you think is best for your child and what you think is best for you, and you are wrong both ways. 

You pause to think about the two youths that stare you in the eye. 

One is the youth you see when you look at your child. The youth that is eager to come into its own, moving at breakneck speed to its crest, learning and teaching something new everyday, asking you to be a guiding light but requesting you not to blind it by the brightness. 

The other is the youth that stares back when you face the mirror. The youth that is anxious, wants to know if you are going to give up on it in favour of your new muse, scared that its best days maybe behind it, not wanting to go down without a good fight. It has been there, done that, knows that it is wasted on the young and that it'll be gone before you take notice.

You then look around for your wife, your mother, your father, your brother, or best friend to look you in the eye, put their hand on your shoulder, and tell you that everything will be alright.

Then you go back to being Awesome. 

True Story.