She bleeds.
It can be a cut on the index finger made by a razor pulled out of a bag after opening the zipper or banging a cell phone on her own mouth or grazing herself by falling on asphalt while trying to take one step too many or a sliding window, its frame, and her finger agreeing to a violently impromptu rendezvous, or the prick of the vaccine needle.
Each time I go through something like this, my heart sinks, part of me goes numb, and the one unequivocal thought that rankles in my completely baffled mind is 'Oh My God, what have I done to her!', 'Oh My God, how horrible a father am I!', 'Oh My God, it could've been so much worse!', 'Oh My God, what is the next thing I should brace for?' (Okay, that's 4 thoughts, but you get what I'm talking about, right?)
And there is so much more both she and I have to go through yet. I now have some inkling of what my mother would've gone through when I told her I was going sky diving or when Atman left for college in New Delhi. I can't even imagine sending her to school alone for a couple of hours.
Shit. Shit. Shit. I'm so screwed.
P.S: I didn't mention Boys here, but that thing scares the absolute shit out of me. I know what horrible jerks they can be. Takes one to know one.
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